Have you ever noticed that, no matter where you go, you always run into the same people? More to the point, they are the same annoying people you left in the last place! Oh sure, they present in different bodies, but the underlying issue is always the same. It used to drive me crazy. I’d just get rid of one irritating dufus, only to be met by another. Doh! Then it occurred to me that perhaps it wasn’t them, it was me, or at least the way I was responding to them (banana/banahna).
There’s an old saying; “If you want something to change, change the way you see it.” This suggests, once again, that we release ourselves from our own mental prisons, that we see our own behaviour patterns and make adjustments that will free us from a whole lot of pain.
For example: Sometimes you see that your input into a situation could be really useful and helpful and maybe even illuminating to others in that situation. You’re just chomping at the bit to tell them what you see. It doesn’t occur to you that they don’t want to hear your perspective. Such riches you have to give! Well, unless it’s a case of life or death, maybe the greatest gem of all, that you have to offer, is to hold your council. Let them figure it out for themselves.
There’s a lot to be said for keeping your mouth shut. If you know better, or think you know better than the next guy, but he’s all about being the leader or happy with something that he has come up with, your input could actually deter him. You’ve undermined him (with the best of intentions). Keeping your thoughts to yourself and enthusiastically going along with him is an act of nurturing. The greatest leaders make excellent followers. They know how to support others in their roles. Sure, they might be going about it all wrong. But is anybody being hurt? That’s a good question to ask yourself, before jumping in with your pearl of wisdom.
Another benefit of holding your council is your own liberation! No more do you have to worry about what other people are doing or what they’re asking you to do. Just do it! Make their day! In one fell swoop, you are empowering them and liberating yourself. Try it.
The bottom line is trust. Trust. Trust the universe, trust your fellow man, trust your own powers of discernment (when it matters to speak up and when it doesn’t). Trust that you don’t need to control the world. That’s a very heavy job, even trying.
I mentioned mindful meditation in my last post. This is an excellent scenario to practice with. The intention is; I can be happy allowing others to take charge. Then, throughout the day, keep that thought up front and be aware of your own need to correct (or help, or inspire). Before you speak, before you lament, before you allow your precious life energy to be sucked away, stop and do a quick assessment; Do I really need to say anything here?
Take it on as a game, if you will. I think the freedom you discover will make you want to tackle another chunk from your own prison wall. Have fun!
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