We gathered for our weekly connect. Three creative women, who’ve discovered support and inspiration from one another, chose to follow this thread of connection and see where it leads. My experience? Sweet and very interesting. These days I tend to step into situations and opportunities with little expectation, just to see where they might lead. So this day, we came together with wine and chocolate and strawberries and all our little creative bits in folders and laptops. It’s always generative time spent.
But whoa! Hold on… what’s this? Somebody has said something and somebody else has taken offence and before I can even recognize this unexpected turn of events, I’m watching a train wreck happen across the table. It’s way too early in this relationship for me to be emotionally invested and, I think, way too late in my life to allow myself to get drawn into somebody else’s drama. So I just sit there and watch the interaction between my two friends as it gets messier and messier.
From my place across the table, it is easy to see how both sides are sending and receiving messages. But I can’t fix it. They are in it. They each have their own set of filters, histories, fears and assumptions and they are playing them out. I can see the incredible gifts each has for the other. But they are too immersed to see and apparently it’s not the time, anyway.
Do I feel lofty? Holier than thou? Wise and knowing? Nah. But I do feel immense gratitude for the lessons I have learned over the years. For the battles fought, the hurts embraced and the sporadic glimpses of clarity that grace my perceptions.
It is somewhat dazzling to see how an innocent comment from one person can act as a nuclear trigger to another and unleash an unholy mess. Little hidden landmines lurk in the subconscious and rise up to meet the perceived challenge. An early lesson that begs to be reviewed, time and again; It’s Not Personal! It doesn’t matter that the accusations are coming at you. It doesn’t even matter if they’re real. What does matter is recognizing that we have a choice as to which energies we will immerse ourselves in AND what kind of energy we will imbue our environment with. We have that power in any given moment. That doesn’t mean we are absolved of any responsibility in a situation. Au contraire. We still need to take stock, see if there is something in our own expression that we could change for the better. We may even see a need to offer an apology (or not).
The thing is, none of it is personal. I could see that from my perch across the table. Each had her “take” on the situation. Me? I can’t afford to be in that energy. It’s a choice. Those enmeshed in the drama will see me as weak, lacking in character and opinion. Let them think what they will. They do not know me. I’ve had more than enough drama for one lifetime and these days, I’m choosing to feed my happiness and share it with anybody else who would like a slice.
One more thing; I still got kaka on my shoes. Knowing what is going on and how to handle it do not protect me from the kaka. That energy evolved in my space and it’s taken some work to scrape it off (if you know what I mean). Thank god for Attunement! So, hey, be careful where you spread your crap and remember the wise words of some old rockers… “you got to scrape that shit right off your shoes!” Thanks Mick.
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